I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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