I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
