Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
