I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
