he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
