She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
