Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you guys were way drunker than both of me
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
