the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
