We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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