At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize