yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
