he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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