shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
