Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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