i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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