Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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