I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
