yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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