Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
