The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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