Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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