Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
