I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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