people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
