what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
no, he came in my armpit
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My dick has a subreddit
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
