i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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