Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
