i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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