whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
