We won't sleep together?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
