he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
