kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
