I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
