Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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