Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
