Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
