Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize