I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
