Fuck appropriateness.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
