Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just googled if crying burns calories
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
