Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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