i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
