Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
