have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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