You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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