You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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