it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
how does that bad decision feel?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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