He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
