Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
