I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
