we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
