ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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