good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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