I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
