Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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