just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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