Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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